Rachel N. Reyes

I’ll Carry All My Groceries Inside in One Trip, Even If It Kills Me (featured in the Greener Pastures Magic Monday roundup, Yapjaw newsletter, and A Newsletter of Humorous Writing, February 2023)

My Job Is Amazing Even Though My Boss Is A Bloodthirsty Hammerhead Shark

9 Amazing Vacation Destinations to Check Your Work Email

A Guide to Strong and Weak Passwords from Someone Who Definitely Didn’t Murder Her Husband

I Am Out of the Office–but Please Contact Me Anytime (Really, Anytime)

Things You Can Do After You’re Halfway Vaccinated

W e Must Protect the Elderly from COVID-19 by Not Visiting Them, So That When This Pandemic Is Over, We Can Continue Not to Visit Them

Slackjaw

Amelia Bedelia Gets an Office Job

FAQ: Your New Baby Photo Storage Device

God Attempts to Write a Novel in Seven Days

FAQ: Your New Cat Photo Storage Device^TM

Coffee Shop Orders of Famous Writers

Did My Husband Just Break Every Bone in His Body, or Does He Have a Tiny Cold? (featured in the Greener Pastures Magic Monday roundup, January 2023)

I’m the $500 Gucci Baby Shoes on Your Friend’s Baby Registry, and It’s Time for You to Pay Up

This Is Your University Alumni Foundation, and We Will Aggressively Beg You for Money for the Rest of Your Life

I’m The $50 Hollister T-Shirt You Bought In Seventh Grade, And I Can’t Believe You Never Became Popular

I Absolutely Must Have This Conversation with You in This Public Restroom

Scary Halloween Costumes for Fiction Writers

I’m the $300 Fork on Your Friend’s Wedding Registry, and It Looks Like You’re Stuck with Me

Here’s How to Overcome Perfectionism–So You Better Not Screw It Up, Moron (featured in A Newsletter of Humorous Writing, April 2021)

Perfectly Good Reasons These Baby Names Are Off-Limits

The Nordly

“I’m Just Afraid of Commitment,” Says Chaska Woman Who Has Used the Same Password for Everything Since Middle School

An Incredible Journey: Woman Travels to Parents’ House in Anoka Just to Use Printer

“Finally, a House to Uniquely Call Our Own,” Says Couple Moving to Cookie-Cutter Hugo Development

Minnesota State Fair Had 63 New Alcoholic Drinks, Excuses to Drunk-Dial Your Ex While Sobbing Uncontrollably in the Miracle of Birth Center (headline)

This Year’s Hottest Spring Break Destination: Errands with Your Mom Because You’re 12

Springtime Heralds Annual Migration of Dads in Construction Vests to Local Bike Paths

Mill City Museum Nominated for Best Place to Sneak Off to the Bathroom and Get High During Eighth-Grade Field Trips

Woodbury Man Wants to Clarify That He Works for Target, Not at Target

As Temperatures Reach Upper 30s, Guy Who Always Wears Shorts in Winter Breathes Sigh of Relief (headline)

Breaking: Shakopee Man Who Resolved to Quit Alcohol on New Year’s Decided to Wait Until Lent Instead (headline)

Little Old Lady Comedy

Classic Children’s Songs Rewritten to Capture the Inconveniences of Adulthood

As a Man, I’ve Decided Women’s Pants Shouldn’t Have Pockets: A Business Meeting

Items to Buy at Walgreens to Hide the Fact that You’re Also Buying Tampons, You Dirty Female

7 Fun ‘n’ Flirty Dresses That Will Later Make People Say “No Wonder She Was Raped!”

Jane Austen’s Wastebasket

Other Things Women Must Have to Write Fiction Besides a Room of One’s Own

Anne Hathaway or Anne Hathaway?

Greener Pastures

The Taylor Swift Eras Tour Ticketmaster Drama, Retold in Taylor Swifties

Today’s Obituaries, Sponsored by Jimmy John’s

MuddyUm

If Nickelback Wrote “Photograph” in the Age of Social Media

Wry Times

Bachelor Party Stripper Cake Nutrition Facts

Fiction

Ember Journal

The Life of Janie Mendoza

Flash Fiction Magazine

To the Girl Who Stole My Snack Pack Chocolate Pudding Cup on the School Bus on the First Day of Second Grade

The Bookends Review

That Awkward Moment When You Have to Cough during Class but You Try to Hold It In Because You’ve Already Coughed Once and Don’t Want to Draw More Attention to Yourself

Literary Yard

The Cherry Factory

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